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In a stunning revelation, former President Donald Trump had arrived at the McDonalds location in the Philidelphia area for his campaign photo-op. It was during the tour of the facility that the 17-year-old manager who had been escorting trump around and showing him what his duties would entail for the day had passively brushed passed the ice cream machine saying "Ignore it. It doesn't work."
An eyewitness that was there but really wasn't because we made her up for the sake of this story reported seeing and hearing Trump saying, "Well look, you know, we can't operate like that. It's just not good business because trust me, I know what good business looks like."
Trump then turned to those in attendance, and watching on in pure entertainment, announced to the audience, "We're going to make the dollar menu great again. We're going to make the McRib great again. Most of all, we're going to make ice-cream great again." Trump was then met with thunderous applause only to be hoisted upon the shoulders of the working staff and paraded around the facility.
Within an hour a truck arrived with four men of Hispanic ethnicity wearing dirty acid faded jeans and cowboy hardhats. Upon entering, they'd informed our news crew they were here to repair the ice-cream machine. The liberal members of the media, upon hearing this, launched into a massive panic of the racism on full display by this move by the former President's team.
When the liberal members finally had managed to corner President Trump for a statement minutes later, the workers had by then walked out of the building waving to the former president, indicating the machine had been fixed. No questions were asked after that.
Stacie Lewbalinski had been standing in line for almost twenty minutes when this event transpired and had this to say: "So, are you guys actually serving food here? Because I just came in for a burger and I've been waiting for over two hours?" To which Trump responded, "You're fired." Nobody seemed to understand the former President's statement, but Trump's response was met with even louder enthusiastic applause. Another customer, upon exiting the facility, complained that they'd gotten her order wrong.
This article is satire and should not be viewed as truthful, but the ice cream machines being broken was probably true.
Story by, John Burk
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